Happy Birthday to Me...

Today is my birthday. In years past, this was an excellent reason to go out and celebrate with friends, get together with family, maybe take the day off... but today, despite the fact that I am now freshly 46, is just another day.

And that's not such a bad thing. Making everyone aware that your birthday is coming up is like inviting 100 people to a party you've been looking forward to for months and being lucky to see 10 people actually make time to attend. It can be disappointing.

I also think that making people aware of your birthday is really a cry for affirmation. "Will they remember? If so, they must be sincere friends!" Sincere friends remember things about you, just as you do for them. They do not forget birthdays. My friends, for instance know the following things about me in regard to my preferred mode of birthday congratulation:

1. Do not get me a gift. I have enough junk laying around, and while your gift will be appreciated, truthfully, it will probably be used in direct proportion to its likelyhood of being readable. If you must get me a gift, buy me a book.

2. Do not endeavor to surprise me in any way. Surprise parties, Restaurant jingle singing, Strangers engaged in clothing removal (especially in public places), Singing telegrams, and the like all fall (at least for me) into the realm of practical jokes. I will certainly return the favor.

3. The obvious exception to the above point is that I do like to be taken out to dinner, even when I don't know it's coming. The caveat here is that the surprise dinner provider must be prepared to spend a great deal of money.

4. Do not tell me that I look good for my age, or that I'm only as old as I feel, for these are cliche's, and while they may come from a sincere place, they sound trite to me. I know how a feel, and I look exactly the way I look. I don't take any special measures to make myself look younger, or older.

5. Cards are welcome, because they are inexpensive. But to give a card, the cardgiver had to conceive of the idea to give a card, go to the card shop, peruse the cards for one they feel would be right for me, purchase it, sign it, and give / mail it to me. It means they cared enough to take the time to acknowledge not only the anniversary of my birth, but also to find something that would appeal to my personality. It is subtle. It is private. And it is much appreciated.

Since I own two businesses, birthdays that fall on any day but Sunday have become less and less a cause for celebration. I tend to work 24/6. But I still mark their passage, if not on the actual day. Tonight, I plan on relaxing with my family. Sunday, I'll be out with a few friends; the ones who know why we're out will quietly wish me happy birthday. I'll put my cards in my laptop case, and read them later; if I read them then, we'll shortly be surrounded by the entire wait - staff, and they will burst into SONG!