On MMPORPGS

OK, I’m guilty. I admit it freely. I have played Everquest. I and II. And enjoyed it. But only up to a point. Where my enjoyment stops is where adolescent proto-angst starts. In other words, I stop playing these games when Skippy the Wonder-Ass starts playing. Nuff Said? No? Then read on, Wonder Ass…

You’re sitting there, ready to join a quest, or a raid, or at least a party all hopped up to beat the living shit out of a boss, and LO, your joined by (YEAH) a group of level 70 Wiz-bang-Yahoo-Uber-Dark Elves Bent on destruction of that which you wish to destroy. All is good. Yes… you say… I will join you, because I am “Snot-Nose” the Level 10 Gnome Tinker, and I have no business being here, So, I will trust you to lead me to victory (an more importantly) experience points, and levels, Bruuuhaaahaaa! (wringing of hands is here optional…)

And so begins the trek toward the lair of the monster/Wizard/Hag with few teeth/Faceless slime in question. On the way, the party is accosted by [insert entity here] having just enough skills/spells/firepower to decimate exactly one of the nymphotycoons you have had the utter blameless misfortune to group with. No problem, right? WRONG!

The party, at this point down one dark elf “of tremendous doom, and tremendous portent,” will immediately disband, because “Erica (or whoever) has to heal, and we all have to go, because we support Erica at all costs!” or something. Meanwhile, there you are, stuck in the vale of stupendous terror (or whatever) holding a level 1 toothpick, and facing 25 a band of slime ogres from the bowels of Dante, before the invention of roughage. In other words, up a certain creek without a means of aquatic locomotion.

I certainly hope Erica was able to repair her hangnail.